Compulsive Sexual Behaviour

We argue on this blog that sexual expression is a natural part of a well-rounded and healthy life. But what if you have an overwhelming urge for sex and are so intensely preoccupied with it that your health, your job, your relationships and your whole life are affected? This state has been called compulsive sexual behaviour. For some it is a real problem and most medical websites treat as such.

Compulsive sexual behaviour is sometimes called nymphomania in women and hypersexuality in men. Some have called it sexual addiction. The use of this term draws a direct link between the "high" of sexual activity with that of alcohol, drug or gambling addiction. Whether this is a reasonable comparison or not, compulsive sexual behaviour is generally considered a disorder by the medical profession and one in which you just cannot resist the temptation or drive to have sex. The central features of these disorders are that sexual activity is an insatiable need, often interfering with other areas of everyday functioning; sex is impersonal, with no emotional intimacy; and despite frequent orgasms, sexual activity is generally not satisfying. The impulses to engage in sex can be chronic and intense, and may feel as if they are beyond control. It can be expressed in terms of:

§ Having multiple sexual partners or extramarital affairs
§ Having sex with anonymous partners or prostitutes
§ Avoiding emotional involvement in sexual relationships
§ Using commercial sexually explicit phone and Internet services
§ Engaging in excessive masturbation
§ Frequently using pornographic materials
§ Engaging in masochistic or sadistic sex
§ Exposing yourself in public ~ exhibitionism.

These things are often the very core of peoples' fantasies but in compulsive sexual behaviour are a reality.

It has been argued that people with compulsive sexual behaviour often use sex as an escape from other problems, such as loneliness, depression, anxiety or stress. Those with compulsive sexual behaviour may be married or in a committed relationship and appear to live otherwise normal lives. Compulsive sexual behaviour can affect anyone regardless of sexual preferences, including heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual preferences.

The label of nymphomania is used in a pejorative and derogatory manner, almost exclusively in reference to women. To many men, the idea of a woman with a greater sex drive than their own is somewhat threatening, so they may use the label to preserve their own egos by "proving" that the woman is abnormal. Similarly, men with sexual dysfunction might accuse their partners of being oversexed in an effort to hide their own fears or sense of inadequacy, just as some women who object to the frequency of their partner's sexual advances might accuse him of being oversexed The difference is that the double standard which exists in our society congratulates a man who is highly sexed and has many partners, calling him a "stud", whereas a woman with the same behaviour is often called a "nympho", which carries a negative connotation.

Niamh Jamieson