Women and Masturbation

Masturbation is something that many people hate to talk about although most do indulge themselves. For many years, it was seen as something dirty and forbidden and especially for women. Many older women still feel that way: they are very wrong. For women, there are not as many physical signs that we are turned on as there are for men. This means that young girls, and sometimes older women, do not always understand or recognise their sexual feelings. Furthermore, women generally do not know the feel of their genitals as well as men do. Unlike the penis, the vagina is not used to being touched all the time. The penis is often rubbed throughout the day my mens' briefs especially if they wear ones which are figure hugging. So generally speaking, women need longer than men do to get used to and understand the idea of masturbation.

Girls start exploring their bodies much later than boys and the majority of women do not start masturbating until after they have started having sex. Having said that young girls, like young boys, often do play with their own genitals and those of others during their early and pre adolescent years. The question is 'is this really masturbation?'. Mutual pre sex play is more about exploration than pleasure.


According to research, the average women only masturbates once every three months. This is a lot less than most think. Certainly from the chats that occur on Facebook, masturbation would seem far more common and frequent. However, the sample here is young, liberated and very open minded. I also suspect that there is some female bragging happening as well as some fantasising. In later life it appears, the more sexually fulfilled a woman is, the more often she masturbates and the more orgasms she has in doing so, the more she wants! A pleasantly rewarding psychological dependence can build up but cause little or no harm. But, at the same time, women can also go longer without sex than men and without feeling hard done by. Masturbation also appears to correlate with partnered sexual activity: the more sex a woman has with partners, the more she masturbates as well. However, the correlation is modest so, for many, this is not true.


When women masturbate, what do they usually do? Again from the chats on Facebook, one might conclude that vibrators, and other more exotic sex toys, were essential for successful masturbation in women. That seems not to be the case: the humble fingers are the most used means to arousal and climax.


Not surprisingly, the top position is one in which the woman llies on her back with both hands free to caress the clitoris using her fingers. Rhythm and pressure are key here and a very personal choice. Some women like and need only the most gentle and passing of touches; others like or need to really work themselves hard. The second most common position is the woman lying on her stomach with one or both hands caressing the clitoris underneath her. Again, she uses her fingers. For the third most common position, a soft object or soft toy is used to rub the clitoris. For adolescent girls, and may be their mothers, the ubiquitous traditional teddy bear was equipped with arms that have proved, over many generations, most suitable for this task! Other common techniques include squeezing the thighs together repeatedly, somehow using a jet of water in the shower and inserting fingers or vibrators into the vagina. Some women also lie on their stomach and, by rubbing against whatever is underneath them, build up the pressure on the Mount of Venus. This can lead to orgasm.


There appear to be many male fantasies about other objects being inserted into womens' vaginas to good effect; some of these fantasies are also shared by women. This is not so common. Clitoral stimulation is the most common form of masturbation in women. We are much more likely to reach orgasm that way and rarely peak through penetration alone.


It is something that the woman can do for herself, be in total control, or she can do it with a man or with a woman. Some say that women know much more what other women like and this may be true for masturbation. Masturbating with another woman does not necessarily make you a lesbian or bisexual: the mutual act may just be 'good sex' and this sort of play harks back to pre adolescent experience.


Fantasies are often key to successful masturbation and many women build up and elaborate on fantasies which prove effective in helping them reach orgasm. Masturbating with another person can also be made more exciting, it appears, if these fantasies are shared.


Masturbation is good and healthy and helps women to learn more about their bodies and how to reach orgasm. It should never be discouraged or frowned upon. It is a natural part of a woman's sex life and is a pro health act. Knowing exactly what can bring you, as a woman, to orgasm enhances your sex life with or without a partner!


Blondie